Dreams In My Head
by Ashtreerose
Summary: Jane has a dream that causes her to question things she has never considered before. Rizzles. Dual-POV. Rated M for possible scenes later.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, everyone! I'm Ash, and this is my first attempt at a Rizzles fic. :)**

**I'm keeping the rating high, for sexual references (and maybe more later, but I'm not sure about that yet). **

**I hope you enjoy! I really love reviews too if you have the time. :)**

* * *

_Casey kisses me, his warm mouth pressing passionately against mine. We lay entangled together, skin against skin, noses pressed together. I close my eyes, pulling even closer to him. The sweet, delicate scent of roses fills my senses… Wait, _roses_? _

_My eyes fly open in confusion, hands pausing on the now much smaller shoulders beneath them. "Maura?" I stutter, pulling back at the sight of my best friend's moonlit face. Casey's bulky, muscled body has been replaced by Maura's smooth, curvy one, and her melted-chocolate eyes are locked onto mine. "Jane…" She murmurs in a voice I've never heard her use before, a voice that causes a shiver to run through my body. Maura kisses me deeply, one hand entwined in my curls while the other traces all the way down my back. The electricity sparking under her touch is incredible, like nothing I've ever felt before._

_I'm suddenly drowned by a potent cocktail of lust and love, running my fingers down the soft, bare skin of her back, feeling the curve of her spine. She sighs warm breath right into my ear, and my physical reaction is astonishing, my skin erupting into goose-bumps, hot and cold at the same time. My eyelids flutter closed as I attempt to draw her impossibly closer to me, our bodies perfectly fitting together, as though designed to never be apart. "Maura…" I hear her name fall from my lips, my voice even huskier than usual, her hands seemingly touching my entire body at once. "Maura…"_

Jane shot upwards in bed, clutching at the sheets as she let out a strangled yelp. _What the hell!? _She fumbled around in the pitch darkness for her bedside table, her lamp, but her fingers only grasped air. _What the freakin' HELL? _She tried blinking a few times, but couldn't see a damn thing.

Cursing though her teeth, Jane blindly groped around, disoriented and utterly dumbfounded by the lack of table. _No table means no gun. _The thought whispered fearfully through her mind. She felt a sense of growing alarm, the familiar sensation of panic rising in her chest like a tidal wave. Unfamiliar and confusing situations had a strong impact on Jane, more so than she let on. The horrifying experiences in her past had left more scars than just the physical ones. Jane opened her eyes as wide as they could go, staring around, eyes straining. But the darkness revealed nothing – not a shadow, not a flicker of light.

"Where the- _Holyshitjesus_!" The soft hand that unexpectedly appeared on her shoulder caused her to screech the jumbled curse, jumping almost out of the bed. Her heart, already hammering, now practically choked her. "Jane?" The voice was groggy, evidently half-asleep, but concerned. "Are you alright?" A light flickered on, and finally, Jane realized the obvious, what she would have easily concluded if not for her blind panic – she was at Maura's house. Letting out a groan, Jane slumped back into the ridiculously luxurious sheets (in hindsight, the sumptuous fabric should have been her first hint) and ran a hand through her sleep-tousled curls. Her tensed muscles finally relaxed, and she rubbed at the sudden cramp in her calf.

She had stayed over after one of their 'movie-wine-and-beer' nights had run late, and as usual, Maura had insisted Jane sleep in her (admittedly huge) bed with her. _"My couch lacks the structure of a mattress… won't support your spine properly… postural alignment issues… blah blah blah."_ It was always the same spiel, which Jane often interrupted with an eye roll, sigh, or grumble (depending on her mood).

But although she would never admit it, she enjoyed sleeping in the same bed as Maura. The sound of soft breathing beside her, the scent of vanilla sheet spray, the warm pressure of Maura's arm against hers after one of them shifted in their sleep… All these things spelled out comfort, peace, security. Jane often got her best sleep at Maura's for this reason.

Maura's hand was still resting on her best friend's shoulder, and her eyes were becoming more alert as she watched Jane's face closely.

"Are the nightmares back?" Maura's voice was soft, concerned, slightly throaty from sleep. That voice… Before Jane had a chance to reply, the dream come rushing back, images feverishly flashing through her mind. _Casey. I was kissing Casey. But then… Oh my god, Maura's soft skin sliding under my hands… Her eyes alight with desire… Maura and I were…_

Jane threw the sheets back, stumbling on the edge of the fabric in her haste. Her face was burning, and she suddenly couldn't look at Maura. _Oh my god, did that really just happen?_

"Uhm. Uh, no, I'm fine. I woke up and forgot where I was, and got kinda freaked out." She pretended to focus on straightening the shorts and t-shirt she wore, but was hyper-aware of her best friend examining her closely. "It was stupid." She finished lamely, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Maura didn't sound convinced (not that Jane could blame her). Jane finally looked up, forcing a neutral expression onto her face, and trying to slow her quick breathing. Maura was sitting cross-legged amidst the cloud-like duvet, in perfect lotus pose despite being woken abruptly in the middle of the night. As much as Jane tried not to stare, her eyes immediately took the image in, almost hungrily.

One strap of her blue silk camisole slipping off her slender shoulder. The curve of her chest, modestly covered by fabric, yet somehow ridiculously sensual. Her honey-coloured hair falling in untamed waves around her face, awash with golden light from the lamp beside her. The almost-invisible impressions on her pale cheek where the pillow had been creased, marring an otherwise perfect complexion. And finally, the warm, light brown eyes that seemed to see right through her. She met Jane's eyes with such concerned intensity that Jane had to glance away, sure that Maura would see exactly what she was thinking.

"Really, I'm fine, Maur. Sorry I woke you." Jane gave a small smile in an attempt to reassure her friend, grabbing at the doorknob to Maura's en suite. "I'm just, uh, going to the bathroom, go back to sleep." And with that, Jane threw herself into the bathroom, locking the door behind her with fumbling fingers.

_Oh my god._

Jane sat heavily on the edge of Maura's bathtub, still trying to work out what the hell had just happened. She glanced up into the mirror, meeting her own gaze as she chewed fretfully on her lower lip. Jane was, by no standards, a prude, but that dream had heated her skin to what she swore was boiling point. She bit at her lip some more.

Maura. Her best friend. Did straight people normally have dreams about having sex with their also-straight best friend? Jane had no idea, but she sure as hell hoped so. There was no doubt that Jane loved Maura – the strange, socially awkward doctor was the closest friend she'd ever had. But it was entirely platonic, she reassured herself.

She loved Casey. Casey, who was so far away. Casey, who had left her in the lurch, with weirdly bittersweet feelings. Maybe she just missed him, and that was why she had the dream. Although she couldn't help but wonder why the Casey part of her dream had felt… almost boring, while the Maura part had been… Jane's face flushed again.

She was confusing feelings of friend-love with romantic-love. Jane had never really had a best friend before Maura… And her brain was interpreting the feelings totally wrong, resulting in that dream. That had to be the explanation.

Jane let out a soft groan, pressing her fingers against her closed eyelids. _Rizzoli, you are finally losing your marbles._

By the time Jane had composed herself enough to go back to bed (it required a lot of water splashed onto her face and internal pep talks), Maura had fallen asleep again with the lamp still on. Tiny snuffling sounds were emitting from the mess of caramel-coloured locks, and one toned forearm was draped over her eyes.

Jane swallowed the lump in her throat as she slid in beside her best friend, taking absolute care to not brush against Maura as she leaned over to flick the lamp off. Limbs stiff as a doll's, Jane lay back down beside her friend with almost comical slowness. She allowed the darkness to swallow her whole, leaving her alone with her confusing thoughts.

**This is my first Rizzles fic, so I hope it's not too OC – I always struggle when I write characters for the first time. **

******BTW: This story was partially inspired by the Anika Moa song 'Dreams in My Head' (specifically the lines "I have all these dreams in my head/Of you and I together, waking in each other's arms/But it's just a dream… ****It makes me quite sad/That it's unrequited love.")**

**Please let me know what you think of this chapter, and expect the second one soon. Thank you so much for reading! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I want to say two things. Firstly, I am deeply saddened by the loss of Lee Thompson Young. He was a great actor, and the world never got to see enough of him. Although I am insignificant, I want to dedicate this chapter to him. Lee meant a lot to the show and the fans, and I hope he rests in peace.**

**Secondly, I want to thank you so much for all your follows, favourites and reviews. Every time a new email came through, my bad day was made brighter. I really appreciate you all. :) Okay, enough jibber jabber – here's chapter two!**

Jane glared at the Google logo, fingers hovering over the keyboard of her laptop. Taking a deep breath, she tapped at the keys. _Dreams about…_ But she paused before she could type the rest of the suddenly absurd sentence in her head. _Am I really Googling the significance of a random, one-off dream? _Jane almost laughed at herself. Pummeling the 'backspace' key, she clicked out of the window and slammed the computer shut. _Stupid idea._

Jane sighed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She was sitting at Maura's sun-drenched breakfast counter, trying not to think too hard while she waited for her friend to finish showering. _This is ridiculous. Snap out of it, Rizzoli. _She picked at a thread that had come loose on the hem of her shirt, forehead creased in thought. She had never seen Maura as anything but a close friend, one of the few people she felt completely comfortable with. But the passion and intimacy she felt in that dream had shaken her to the core, caused her to question things that had never occurred to her before.

If the dream had been about anyone else, Jane would have been surprised, yes, and definitely embarrassed, but after these feelings had dissipated, she would have brushed it off. She was reasonably comfortable enough in her own sexuality to be mostly unrattled by those kinds of dreams. But Maura. _Maura. _That was the part that had left her dazed, the factor that had changed everything.

_I love Maura as a friend. She's like a sister to me. _But now, looking at her emotions through fresh eyes, Jane felt a growing sense of unease. She pressed her hands to her face, trying to sift through her feelings. She could, to a certain extent, explain the thrill she felt every time she made Maura laugh. The pure terror she felt whenever she was in danger, or the blinding rage that overcame her when someone hurt her. Those were feelings you had for people you loved. But what she couldn't explain was the small lurch in her stomach whenever they touched, whenever they shared a smile or joke. It was an uncontrollable flutter of… _something_. A _something_ that she was hesitant to examine too closely. She shook her own head dazedly. _You are actually having a sexuality crisis in your 30's because of a single dream._

A heavy scraping noise made Jane flinch, jolting her out of her thoughts, and she looked down to see Bass lumbering around the doorframe.

"Oh, it's you." She tucked her feet up under the stool, eyeing the overgrown turtle warily. "What, are you hungry or somethin'?" Bass didn't reply, only continued his slow journey into the kitchen. "How often do you eat anyway?" Jane wondered aloud as the thought hit her. Her own tortoise was tiny, small enough to be kept in a glass tank, and she just fed it when the pile of greenery looked low.

"I put hay and greens down every morning for him to graze." Jane jumped at Maura's voice – she hadn't even heard her enter the room. The blonde was dressed in yoga pants, a plain t-shirt and weird little sock-slippers, her half-damp hair yet to be styled. It was an outfit that she would only ever wear around home, probably one that Jane and Angela alone had seen her in. Yet somehow she managed to look perfectly put together, in the way only Maura could. "It's nice to see you two bonding," Maura added as she stuck her head into a pristinely organized cabinet.

Jane let out a small snort of laughter. "Yeah, he's a real chatterbox. Can't get him to shut up." It was testament to their relationship that Maura simply shot Jane an amused glance in reply.

In the early days of their friendship, Maura had been completely befuddled by any and all kinds of sarcasm. For someone like Jane, who could practically put 'sarcasm' as a second language on her resume, this had been extremely frustrating. Jane had been forced to explain 'that was sarcasm' through gritted teeth to a confused or hurt Maura every time she used it (which was often). But now, 6 years later, Maura was well-versed in her best friend's humour, and even made a sarcastic statement herself every so often, to Jane's delight.

Maura was now holding up a jar labeled 'coffee', waving it tantalizingly in Jane's direction. "Would you like a cup?" Jane perked up at the sight of the elixir of life.

"Mm, caffeine," she sighed by way of response, watching as Maura began to make the drinks. Her hands moved deftly, scooping up a spoonful of dark powder and pressing it carefully into the filter head of her fancy machine. Maura was sort of a coffee snob, whereas Jane would take anything hot and caffeinated. Making crazy-expensive cups of coffee in her crazy-expensive espresso machine made Maura happy. But not quite as happy as spouting endless facts made her.

"This coffee is grown on the Blue Mountains in Jamaica - the cool air and excellent quality of the soil gives the beans a mild flavor that is very sought after." Maura informed Jane as she turned the machine on, immediately filling the kitchen with the warm scent of brewing coffee. "They are also used in making specific kinds of coffee liquor," She continued animatedly, pulling two mugs from a shelf above her head.

Jane nodded, vaguely interested, but barely suppressing an eye roll. Maura literally couldn't help herself – every normal, daily activity had to come in the _Commentary with Doctor Maura Isles _version_. _She poured the coffee with a flourish, adding the exact amount of milk and sugar that Jane liked without even thinking about it.

"Thanks, Maura." Jane reached for the drink, craving a caffeine hit. As Maura passed Jane her steaming cup of coffee, her delicate fingers brushed against Jane's, immediately sparking a briefly-forgotten memory. _Hands, Maura's hands, running down my back, stroking my face, buried in my hair… _Jane fumbled the mug, dripping some of the hot liquid onto the counter and all over her hands. _Shit._

"Are you alright?" Maura asked as she immediately pulled Jane's hands into her own, examining the coffee-drenched fingers for burns. Jane held her breath, fighting the sudden, unexpected rush of the_ something_ fluttering, wilder than ever, in her stomach.

"Well, Doctor? Will you need to amputate?" Jane attempted to joke in a mock-stern tone, but it sounded feeble to her own ears. Maura's lips turned up slightly at the corners, but she said nothing.

Evidently concluding that Jane's hands could stay attached to her arms, Maura handed her a napkin, and she cleaned up her mess. Jane's hands felt strangely empty without Maura's, so she grabbed the coffee mug, a second-rate replacement. Maura took a sip of her own coffee, looking properly into Jane's face for the first time that morning. A concerned expression darkened her chocolate eyes, her brow creasing.

"Periorbital puffiness and hyperpigmentation… You didn't sleep well." Maura said as she examined Jane's face closely. It didn't feel like an observation, however – more like a not-so-subtle invitation for Jane to explain the previous night. Maura's lovely face had softened, and with the light streaming through the window behind her head, Jane had the fleeting thought that she looked almost angelic. _Where did that thought come from? What the hell has gotten into you, Rizzoli? _She stayed silent, tugging at her shirt's loose thread again.

"Jane, are you having the nightmares again?" Maura asked for the second time, causing Jane to glance up. Her gaze was compassionate, gently pleading for an answer. Jane was unable to look into those earnest eyes - she dropped her gaze, taking a gulp of coffee before replying.

"Nah, I haven't had a nightmare in months. I just had trouble sleeping last night, was all." Jane smiled reassuringly, but it felt stiff on her own face. "Don't worry about me." Growing up in the intrusive, demanding Rizzoli household, Jane had become a fairly convincing liar. As much as she hated lying to Maura (it felt especially wrong because Maura was what Jane secretly called _untruth-challenged_, unable to lie without instantly coming up in hives), this lie felt necessary. Just the thought of telling Maura about her strange and erotic dream made her feel like crawling under the nearest rock and staying there for the rest of eternity.

Maura eyed Jane for a long moment, her soft eyes scanning Jane's face for whatever visual clues she could find there. The keen gaze, once so familiar to Jane, now felt too intense. Flashbacks of the dream were circling through her mind, like a TV screen she couldn't shut off, the same scenes on repeat...

And in that moment – with her stomach flooded with crackling electricity, her eyes locked on Maura's, her head filled with those sensual images – Jane knew, with startling clarity, that her dream had held a seed of truth.

_Bzz bzz! _

Jane practically threw herself at her buzzing cellphone, silently thanking God for the welcome intrusion. She was almost certain Maura had spotted something in her eyes, and deliberately avoided her gaze as she answered her phone.

"Rizzoli." As Frost spoke on the other end, she gulped down a few more mouthfuls of coffee. "Be right there," She barked into the phone, hitting 'end' and leaping from her seat. "I gotta go, something's come up on a case," She told Maura, grabbing her keys and hunting around for her blazer.

She needed to quickly drop by her house to change clothes – someone was sure to notice if she wore the same shirt two days in a row. People would talk, no doubt, although she had only stayed the night at Maura's… She winced at the connotation, which normally wouldn't even be on her radar. She felt uncharacteristically muddled, fuzzy around the edges, with only one clear thought – _Crap._ _I think I love her. I think I actually LOVE_ _her._

She finally found her jacket, which she had evidently tossed at one of Maura's dining room chairs. "I need to grab a change of clothes, I'll see you later, 'kay? Thanks for letting me stay over." Her voice was strained, a poor attempt at nonchalance. Jane realized she was being an ass, but she couldn't help herself – things were just getting too crazy, and she felt like her brain would explode if she spent any more time around Maura.

She desperately needed to think, to sort through her jumbled feelings, to forget, to laugh hysterically, to lick her wounds in private... She honestly didn't know. All she knew was that she needed to get away. As she threw herself through the door, the last image she saw was of her best friend, standing in the hallway with an undecipherable expression on her face.

"See you soon..?" Came the confused reply, muffled through the door which Jane had already slammed.

**I hope you enjoyed – I loved writing domestic Rizzles with a hint of angst. I wrote this before the latest episode, and it was such a weird coincidence that Jane's nightmares really did come back! The next chapter should be up pretty soon – I've written a few chapters in advance because I just couldn't stop writing haha. If you have any sparks of inspiration, or have some scenes/prompts/anything you want to happen, feel free to suggest away! I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

**Oh also – if you have any Fic recs, you should send them to me on tumblr (oops-there-goes-my-sanity). Feel free to shamelessly self-advertise, or tell me your favourites. **

**~ R.I.P. Lee Thompson Young 3 ~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the reviews and favourites. You guys blow me away. :) This chapter is kinda short, but it's an important one.**

"Doctor Isles?" Maura jumped a little at the voice, glancing up from the heart she was carefully examining. It had always fascinated her that something so vital could easily be held in one of her small hands. Not that it was doing much anymore – its 79-year-old owner was resting, cold and emptied of organs, on the autopsy table. She had been so engrossed in inspecting the heart, which had stopped during a cardiac arrest, that she hadn't realized there was someone else in the room with her. Susie stood in the doorway, looking a little hesitant at interrupting and holding a pile of papers. "I have the test results you asked about."

"Oh! Thank you, Susie." Maura gently set the heart down in a metal basin, peeling her latex gloves off and dropping them neatly into the sterile disposal bin. She had been waiting on an important toxicology screen for weeks, and hoped it would help clear up the cause of death of a young man she had recently autopsied.Eagerly, she took the papers, already beginning to skim-read the blood sample documentation at the top of the page.

She hadn't even had a chance to glance over the actual results, the numbers that would tell her everything in the way that only science could, when Susie cleared her throat meaningfully. "So, what's going on with Detective Rizzoli today? Is she working a difficult case?" Her voice was blunt, to-the-point as usual, but it had an edge of concern.

Maura glanced up, slightly surprised. Jane _had_ been acting strangely, this much was true, but she wouldn't have expected Susie to question her about it. "What do you mean?" Maura hedged, actually wondering the same thing herself. Jane had woken her up in the middle of the night, obviously panicking about something, but when Maura had questioned her about it that morning, she had bolted like a spooked horse. Although social situations were a little difficult for her to navigate sometimes, Maura considered herself a near-expert in the enigma that was Jane Rizzoli. And this had not been normal behaviour, not normal in the slightest.

"I bumped into her in the café," Susie continued, adjusting her bright blue glasses, "She was chugging her coffee like her life depended on it. She looked weirdly flustered, and…" Susie trailed off, as though trying to find the words. "Well, she didn't seem like herself. I thought you would be the best person to ask if she was okay." She finished, watching Maura expectantly. Maura glanced back down at the heart on the tray. Although she hated to guess, she had secretly been speculating all morning. The only conclusion she could come up with was that Jane had had a nightmare, a dream that had really frightened her.

But there was a flaw in her theory. When Jane had been having the nightmares about Hoyt, she had been completely open with Maura, telling her about the horrible memories that haunted her dreams. Heck, she had even cried in front of Maura after a particularly bad one, something that the stoic Jane Rizzoli hated doing, even with her closest friend. But the previous night, something had been very different – she had been embarrassed and evasive. _But why the change in character?_

Maura shrugged. "I'm not exactly sure. She didn't want to talk about it." _I will leave it at that_, Maura told herself. Jane would hate it if she knew she was being talked about. Susie looked slightly puzzled, but seemed to accept Maura's vague answer, nodding brusquely before bustling off, already distracted by some other report in her hands.

Maura attempted to leave thoughts of Jane behind as she went back to the tox screen, deciding to focus on something she knew she could fully understand. But she couldn't completely ignore the niggling feeling that something significant had happened. Something had changed.

It was getting close to four p.m., and Maura was no closer to what she really wanted to do – fall onto her sofa with a large glass of wine. She sighed, setting her pen down on the autopsy report she was writing up and rolling her shoulders for the third time in the past ten minutes. She wasn't usually so distracted, but Jane's odd behaviour was playing on her mind. She couldn't decide whether she should go straight home and distract herself, or show up at Jane's door, demanding answers. She stared, lost in thought, at the tribal mask on her office wall (the one that hadn't been sacrificed to Lydia, that is).

Maura, in general, was very good at deciphering her own emotions and dredging up her innermost thoughts. From quite a young age, she had been able to effectively detach herself and critically assess her own thoughts and feelings. It was a technique that had allowed her to skip much of the uncertainty and apparent trauma that came with being an adolescent, allowing her to focus on more important things, such as her aspiration to become a M.E.

Growing up with only books for friends may sound like a lonely life, but Maura saw it as anything but. The philosophers, doctors, psychologists, and scientists of her beloved books had surrounded her with knowledge, something she saw as much more solid and everlasting than any friendship. She had been quite content with this way of living for much of her life. That is, until a fateful encounter with a cranky cop, undercover as a prostitute. _"Not every hooker has a heart of gold," _Jane had sharply retorted in response to a bewildered Maura's offer of help. Maura smiled at the colourful memory, which both women had found hilarious later on.

Their friendship had blossomed alarmingly quickly – well, it had certainly been alarming to Maura, anyway. Before she had even had a chance to think it through, Jane Rizzoli had sarcasmed her way past Maura's weird quirks, crashed through all her relationship-proof walls, forcibly beaten down the door, and made herself comfortable on her sofa with a beer.

Maura smiled to herself again at the image. Jane probably hadn't even noticed the emotional walls and social barriers. She had simply broken through them without a thought, in her typical impatient manner, making herself at home in Maura's life. It had been an unpredictably pleasant experience – she had actually enjoyed seeing the carefully constructed structure come tumbling down under Jane's force. Sometimes you just needed that person – one who truly wanted to be your friend, regardless of how difficult it was to begin with. She closed her eyes, extending her arms above her head to loosen her tense biceps, feeling her serratus anterior muscles stretching too.

Their friendship had become one of the most important relationships in Maura's life. Despite how quickly they had become inseparable, it had taken a strangely long amount of time for Maura to realize the extent of her feelings, something that she should have seen straight away due to her ability to analyse her own mind so well.

She loved Jane. That was the honest truth, something that she was happy to say to Jane's face, and something that was probably evident to all who knew them. The bond they shared ran deep, and although they joked about it, both of them were aware just how much they meant to each other. But the depth of Maura's feelings were startling, even to her. It had become apparent, after knowing Jane for 6 years, that she didn't just love her. She was _in love _withher.

_I am in love with Jane Rizzoli._

Maura's stomach gave a lurch at the thought, although it had been a frequent one as of late. _It's fascinating just how different the phrases 'love' and 'in love' are, _she thought absently, a barrage of emotions flooding her. _One slight adjustment of a phrase, and you have the difference between friendship and couple. _

It had taken Jane almost dying for Maura to realise, something that still haunted her. Running down the steps of the precinct to see Jane shoot herself, right through the abdomen, was an image that Maura would never be able to shake off. _The muffled 'bang'. The slow-motion falling. The heavy bounce of her head as she hit the concrete. Her lifeless body. _Maura had never told Jane, but she still had the occasional nightmare herself. She woke up yelling, tears streaming down her face, the image of Jane's blood-covered body burned into her retinas. After that day, she knew. She just knew.

Maura was surprised that everyone around her (and most importantly, Jane) hadn't seen the truth – in her own eyes, it was blindingly obvious. The way her hands lingered on her best friend's skin when they touched. The way her eyes often unconsciously darted to Jane's lips while she spoke. How, whenever Jane was asleep beside her, she would gradually shift closer until she was pressing against her best friend's warm body. Her body language had been practically screaming it for years.

Jane Rizzoli. Her best friend. The woman Maura was deeply in love with… And the woman she could never be with. Maura finally opened her eyes, taking a moment to compose herself before picking up her pen again.

_It is just a fact of life,_ Maura thought sadly before continuing with her report. _20-page autopsy reports have to be written. Eventually, every living thing dies. And Jane Rizzoli is as straight as they come. Not to mention in love with Casey. Some things in life are fixed, definite. And the quicker you accept that, the better._


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Sorry this update took so long. I had a sudden brainwave and revised the chapters I had written, and then I unexpectedly went away without my laptop for a few days. I have also been coming up with ideas for my new Rizzoli and Isles project, a series of mini (one chapter each) fics about established Rizzles. I know a few people have done this, but I have a few little scenes floating around in my head that wouldn't be enough for a full story, so… Why not? Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**

_One foot after the other. _Maura shook her head, flicking a loose curl out of her face as she reached the landing outside Jane's apartment door. She steeled herself. _Okay, Maura, you can do this. _She rested the bags of takeout, beer and wine at her feet, raising a fist to rap on the door.

"- isn't what I wanted, it's not what either of us wanted!" Maura paused, her fist hovering in the air. Jane's hoarse voice filtered through the closed door, sounding upset and angry. She hated to eavesdrop – it usually led to irritating hives later on – but suddenly she felt unable to move. Should she leave, or knock like she was going to, or-

"You _know_ that's not what I meant, Casey! Quit putting words into my mouth, and let me talk, god dammit!" Maura's hand fell, as did her mood. _Casey. She's talking to Casey… Well, more yelling than talking. _If Maura had been about to walk away, she certainly wasn't now. She couldn't.

"Well, maybe that's what I _do_ want." Jane's voice was suddenly smaller, sadder, as though her fierce anger had abruptly fizzled out. There was a long pause, in which Maura could make out a crackly male voice, distorted by poor laptop speakers. A loud sniff. A sigh. And finally-

"I can't do this anymore." It was a measured, carefully uttered statement. "I can't wait around here forever. I can't be your 'girl at home' for my whole life." Jane's voice was strong, but there was a telltale crack halfway through. "We both know that – we always knew that." Maura held her breath, her eyes dropping closed. _Oh, my poor Jane. _

"Casey… I love you." A ragged breath. "I think I always will. But we can't do this to ourselves." Casey spoke, a short statement that was inaudible to Maura, but then Jane replied in a steel-coated voice. "So it's done, then. We're finished." The abrupt thump of the laptop closing had a sense of finality, a feeling of something coming to an end. It was the sound of a heart breaking. There was a long, charged silence, punctuated by the muted sob of someone trying very hard to suppress it.

Maura was torn, absolutely anguished. She wished, with everything she had, that she could shove through that door and hold Jane tightly. She wanted to embrace the broken pieces of Jane, hold together the woman she had watched fall apart beneath a stony exterior. She felt a rush of uncharacteristic anger, hovering in the hallway, the Indian takeout cooling at her feet. _Jane is the strongest person I know, and he must have truly had her heart to hurt her this much._

The thought was a slap in the face, and abruptly, Maura made her choice. She took a step backwards, tears blinding her as she reached for the bags on the floor. But with her vision swimming, she misjudged her grab, knocking one over. With a clunk, the wine bottle fell to the floor, rolling and hitting the door with an even louder thud. Maura quickly gathered it up, but it was too late. The door flew open.

Jane's expression was a mask of surprise, her blotchy face etched with tear tracks. She was still dressed in her work clothes, although the deep blue shirt was creased, and there was a dark smear on the knee of her slacks. _Coffee stain, _Maura thought robotically, not really paying attention to anything but Jane's face. "Maura?" She blurted, her voice thick and croaky. Maura felt her chest begin to tingle, the familiar sensation that preceded hives. For the first time in a long while, she was lost for words.

After a silence that seemed to stretch on for minutes, Maura stood, holding up the takeout, beer and wine. "Are you hungry?" She asked, attempting a weak smile. Jane's face was unreadable. But she stepped aside, holding the door open for her best friend.

Dinner was a silent affair. Under Maura's careful observation, Jane's expression rotated between relieved, bewildered, angry, and a blank, empty look that worried Maura most of all. She took a sip of wine, watching Jane shovel the luke-warm food into her mouth, likely not tasting any of it. She took a deep breath, fixing her eyes on Jane's as she lowered her glass.

"Talk to me, Jane," She filled her voice with love, with all the emotions she couldn't express. "What happened?" Her best friend's dark eyes flickered with some unidentifiable emotion before falling back down to the table. She grabbed her half-empty beer bottle, slim fingers fidgeting with the edge of the paper label.

"Casey wasn't just deployed for a few months," She finally uttered in a detached tone, peeling the label off her bottle. "He's been asked to stay for another two years. He told me we could wait for each other, but…" She paused, blinking her tears away fiercely. "I've been thinking a lot about us lately." She continued, voice a little stronger. Maura watched carefully.

"I don't want to have a life with him when he's over there. But I don't want to be all happy and domestic when he _is_ here," Jane finally met Maura's eyes, her piercing gaze cutting into her despite the lingering tears on her lower eyelashes. _God, she's beautiful. _The thought came out of nowhere, as it often did, and Maura tried to ignore it. "So what _do_ I want?" Jane finished softly, holding eye contact.

Maura's gaze danced around her best friend's face – _flushed cheeks oh god lips eyelashes _– in a split second of unconscious longing, before resting on her pupils once again. They were trapped in a single, silent moment, stretching out seemingly for hours. _Prolonged eye contact for longer than six seconds is indicative of either desire to kill or… Lust. _Maura felt herself twitch slightly at the random thought, unsure of whether it was true or not.

A curl dropped onto Jane's forehead, one of the perfect little ringlets Maura wished she could run her hands through, but Jane made no movement to brush it back. Seconds seemed to stretch into hours, and Maura felt her arms prickle as though with electricity.

It was Jane who finally broke away, wrestling her eyes from Maura's as she lurched from her chair. "I'd better feed Jo Friday, she'll be getting hungry," she fumbled, the words falling from her mouth as she retreated down the hall, calling her dog. Maura let out a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding, lowering her head into her hands.

_Jane and Casey have broken up._ The full comprehension of the thought hit Maura with the force of a freight train. She felt as though she was being torn in two – half of her was devastated for her best friend, upset to see her go through something so heartbreaking. But the other half of her was… almost wistful. Hopeful. She quickly dismissed those thoughts. _What difference will it make? Jane sees you purely as a friend, and you need to do the same._

Maura straightened, pulling herself together with a tiny shake of the head. She gathered up the dishes, piling them into Jane's sink, and paused, listening. It was too quiet. Jane had stopped calling her dog. Maura stepped into the hallway, listening again. And then she heard a choking gasp, which faded into muffled sobbing. Feeling her own eyes watering at the sound, Maura pushed open the door to Jane's bedroom.

"Jane, Jane," Maura found herself murmuring over and over as she crossed the room in two strides. Jane was slumped at the end of the unmade bed, curled in on herself, dark coils of hair hanging over her face. Jo Friday lay on the floor, watching her owner warily. Maura wrapped her arms around the quivering shoulders as tightly as she could, drawing Jane's head down to rest on her shoulder. Her blouse was instantly wet with tears, and she stroked Jane's curls tenderly.

"Jane, you don't deserve this," Maura murmured into Jane's ear, her own tears rolling down her cheeks. "You are the strongest, bravest, most remarkable person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing." She kissed the side of Jane's head, a gesture she hadn't planned, but one that felt right. She needed Jane to know how much she cared, and that tender kiss of the head conveyed more than she could say.

They sat like that, huddled together, clutching each other tightly, for a long while. Maura steadily stroked Jane's hair, palm sliding past her friend's shoulders, down to her lower back, before returning to the curls again. This became a rhythm, originally intended as soothing, but Maura quickly realized it wasn't that simple. She found herself enjoying the feeling of Jane's warm, muscled body, fingers tingling with heat. _Selfish, _she snapped at herself inwardly, ashamed of her lack of self control. She only stroked Jane's hair after that.

In Maura's embrace, Jane gradually stopped shaking, sobs dwindling into hiccups. When she finally pushed her hair from her face, clearing her throat, her eyes held stony resolve. Maura knew from that look that Jane had shed her last tears for Casey.

Maura was physically aching. She wanted to be the one to put Jane back together, both as a best friend and as the other half of the relationship that Jane deserved. She wanted to be the one to kiss her good morning and good night. The one who knew her in every possible way, mental, emotional, physical, and anything else there was. The one she could lean on, trust with every ounce of her being. She wanted all of it, selfishly, with everything she had. She opened her mouth, unsure of what she was about to say, but closed it again. For now, she would be the friend Jane needed. And that was all.

**Thanks for reading! I'm still working on chapter 5, it still needs a bit of work, but hopefully it will be up soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I want to thank you all SO much – you're all so lovely and supportive, and it means a lot to me. This chapter won't be quite as angsty as the last one... Maybe? I promise that I won't keep up this torturous angst forever. :)**

**Oh – trigger warning for alcohol. (I am trying to be better about trigger warnings, because I recently realized how difficult certain things are for some people to read about/come across by accident.)**

Jane was more than slightly embarrassed. "Ugh," she muttered, swiping at her face, irritated by the sticky, salty tears on her cheeks. Crying was such a gross thing to do, and Jane absolutely loathed it – it made her feel weak and look it too. She sniffed, avoiding the eyes she could feel on her. Maura's arms were still surrounding her, anchoring her. A hug from Maura had to be the most comforting thing in the world, something that she wished would last forever. Jane cleared her throat, trying to ignore the heat rising under her skin at Maura's touch.

"Well," Jane's voice cracked as she reluctantly pulled away from the warmth of Maura's embrace. "Fun way to spend an evening, huh?" She briefly met Maura's gaze, seeing her eyes were damp too, before glancing down to her feet, shoving her annoying curls out of her face. "God, I'm sorry, Maura. I know you didn't show up expecting emotional breakdowns and waterworks from hell."

"You've had a tumultuous couple of days," Maura said, soft voice filled with such sympathy and understanding that Jane's stomach twisted. "First that nightmare, and now Casey…" She trailed off, biting her lip, possibly noticing the way Jane stiffened at the mention of the dream. Jane coughed, pushing herself to her feet with a grunt and vigorously rummaging around on her dresser top, pretending she was looking for something important. Anything to avoid Maura's gaze.

_Just tell her, for god's sake, you coward, _Jane's inner voice grouched, but she ignored it steadfastly, scrubbing at her salt-crusted eyes with a tissue. It was almost comical, really. Jane could face a gun pointed at her head, no problem, but telling her best friend that she had feelings for her? Nope. Absolutely not. Way too terrifying for the brave Detective Rizzoli.

She sighed, grabbing a hair-tie to pull her mass of coils up, which were sticking to the half-dried tears that covered her face in a tight mask. Even if she had the guts, now would probably be a bad time to confess to Maura anyway – she clearly looked awful after her crying-fit, and she had only _just_ told Casey they couldn't be together. At the thought, her stomach twisted again, this time with a mixture of anger, guilt and sadness. But there was another emotion leaking through – relief.

She had told Casey the standard, acceptable reasons she wanted to break up. _Him always being away for his job, it wasn't the right time, it wasn't fair on either of them, domesticity made her wanna yak, blah blah blah. _And, yes, these were all true. But she had purposefully left out a crucial element, the spur that had driven her to do what had been niggling at her for a while._ Maura, Maura, Maura._ The beautiful name filled Jane's head like a chant.

Jane could still feel Maura's eyes on the back of her neck, and she snapped the hair tie roughly around her curls with a cough. There was a creaking of bedsprings, and Maura's hand briefly brushed Jane's shoulder as she wordlessly left the room. Her touch left a trail of fire in its wake, lingering even after Jane heard Maura begin to wash the dishes. Jane returned to her bed, sitting on the edge and staring blankly at the floor.

She loved Maura more than Casey. The revelation had surprised her, on one hand, but at the same time it had felt blindingly obvious. She never got tired of being around Maura, where as Casey irritated her after less than a day. She could talk to Maura about anything, but her relationship with Casey had been mostly physical. It was stupid, really – Maura would never love Jane in the way Jane loved her. But the breakup had been a long time coming, and Jane had been unable to take it anymore after the dream had dragged her, kicking and screaming, into her realization. The whole relationship had suddenly felt like a lie, and it wasn't fair to her or Casey.

After washing her face and basically failing at making herself look less horrible, Jane returned to the kitchen. Maura was sitting on the couch, finishing her glass of wine alone, apparently deep in thought. Her head was bowed as she stared at her glass, and one hand absently twirled a lock of hair (a trait that she had apparently picked up from Jane). Jane headed for her top cupboard as though on autopilot, fingers wrapping around a large unopened bottle of dark amber liquid. The rum was an old birthday gift from her father that she had been saving for no particular reason other than that she had just never felt like drinking it. She hadn't been properly drunk since her younger, pre-detective days, but suddenly Jane craved the dull emptiness of it. She wanted to be numb, for the edge to be taken off.

Pouring herself a rather large amount of rum with a tiny splash of cola, Jane joined Maura on the sofa. Glancing up with a small smile, Maura's eyes fell on the glass, and she tilted her head to one side. "I didn't know you liked rum." She was apparently choosing to act like Jane's crying fit had never happened, something that Jane was extremely grateful for. Jane shrugged, taking a swig and suppressing a small shudder at the taste of the strong alcohol. _Man, it really _has_ been a long time since I had anything stronger than wine or beer. _She took another sip, larger this time, beginning to enjoy the warm feeling at the back of her throat.

Maura's eyes suddenly lit up, and Jane couldn't help but crack a small smile at her enthusiastic expression. It was her 'Talking Google' face, and sure enough: "Did you know that rum was believed to possess medicinal properties? It was even administered daily to sailors in the British Navy because they believed it prevented scurvy." Maura leaned forward, fully engrossed in telling her fact, and for once, Jane didn't have the heart to interrupt. "But scurvy is caused by a vitamin C deficiency, and it was actually the lime that they added to the rum that prevented it. That is where the stereotypical image of a pirate or a sailor drinking rum originates."

"No, I didn't know that." Jane shook her head in amusement. "How do _you_ know that?" Maura opened her mouth to answer, but Jane quickly shook her head again dismissively. "Never mind, you know everything. Medicinal or not, I needed something a little stronger than beer." She waved the glass at Maura temptingly. "Do you want some?" Her best friend hesitated, but then smiled, lifting her shoulders. "I suppose one glass wouldn't hurt."

"Oh m'god!" Jane clutched her stomach, roaring with laughter. "Can't… breathe!" She was sprawled on the floor, limbs deliciously heavy, and laughing hysterically for no apparent reason. Maura lay beside her on the carpet, also giggling, and it struck Jane how ridiculous it all was. Two professional women, still wearing their work clothes, drunk on the floor like teenagers, laughing at nothing. The thought made her laugh even harder. Jane had drunk quite a lot more than Maura had, but both women were far from sober.

Maura rolled over, the breath of her laugh warming Jane's shoulder, leaning into Jane's side. "You _must_ be breathing, otherwise you wouldn't be _talking_!" Maura managed through her chuckling, punctuating her slightly slurred words by poking Jane's arm gently. "_I _would know! I'm a _doctor_!" Jane snorted, feeling a rush of hot attraction at the sound of Maura's laughter. _Why did everything seem so difficult before? _Jane wondered, enjoying having Maura's body so close to hers. _This is so easy, why don't I just tell her? _But something still held Jane back, even through the fuzzy veil of alcohol.

"Remember that time we couldn't move your mattress, so we just lay on it and drank wine instead, right here?" Maura said randomly, slapping the floor beneath them and leaning closer still. Jane nodded, still laughing, slightly distracted by the way Maura's cheeks dimpled. "We were talking about weddings! Hah!" She sat up slightly, taking another clumsy swig of rum and releasing her curls from their hair tie before settling down beside Maura again. They lay in peaceful silence, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the blank ceiling. _Weddings… Imagine marrying Maura. _An image of Maura, grinning at her from beneath a veil, flashed through Jane's head. She blinked, turning her face away from her best friend to conceal the alarm on her face. _Woah there, Jane, slow down… _

Jane had never really been big on the whole 'get-married-and-have-babies' thing, even as a kid. The idea of being all domestic and housewife-y made her want to puke. She tried to picture herself with a husband. Waking up beside him, doing household chores with him, making meals with him, going to dinner together… It all seemed so… _Uh…_ Jane paused mid-train of thought, startled. _That's me and Maura. Oh my god, Maura and I have the exact relationship I didn't want with Casey. _Jane felt her forehead crease as she took this in. _Oh my god. I really am in love with her._

Jane was staring into space in wonder, distracted by her miniature epiphany, when she felt Maura shifting beside her. She turned her head – only for her gaze to meet the wide brown eyes she loved so much, startlingly near. She hadn't realized how close their heads were, but when they faced each other like they were, their breath mingled. Maura smiled, displaying those dimples again, and Jane felt a pang in her stomach. Neither of them moved. Up close, Maura's eyes weren't brown, but hazel, a creamy brown colour with flecks of gold and dark green. _So beautiful._

"Jane, I…" Maura started, but simply shook her head, dismissing whatever she had been about to say. Her eyes darted to Jane's mouth, and then back again. _Did I imagine that? _Jane thought woozily, finding her own gaze inexplicably drawn to Maura's mouth too. They were so close that Jane could feel Maura's breath against her lips, making them tingle, both from the sensation and in anticipation of what Jane desperately wanted to do. Their eyes were locked. The soft scent of roses wafted over her, mixing with the warm smell of the rum, and to Jane it was like the most delicious perfume in the world. _I want to kiss her. Oh, I want to kiss her so badly._ There was a heavy, still pause, and Jane's head swam with love, confusion, and lust. _Surely Maura must feel this tension too, see it in my eyes. _But Maura ducked her head, breaking eye contact and shuffling closer. She dropped her head down to rest on Jane's shoulder, pausing before hesitantly draping her arm across Jane's stomach.

Jane felt her drunkenness come rushing back, and almost laughed scornfully at herself. She had been so caught up in the moment that she had imagined Maura felt the same way… _Pull yourself together, Rizzoli. _She took a deep breath. Unable to help herself, Jane gently brushed her fingers down the freckled arm, absently tracing patterns in the tiny dots. She felt goose bumps rise on Maura's skin at the feather-light touch. Honey-coloured hair tickled Jane's chin, and she closed her eyes, wanting to freeze time. The warmth and pressure of Maura against her compared to nothing, even if it was purely platonic in her best friend's mind. She took so much comfort simply from being so close. Against her shoulder, she felt Maura open her mouth to speak again, but no sound came out. She felt a small sigh heat her skin.

"What, Maur?" Jane prompted softly, craning her neck in an attempt to see Maura's face. Her best friend suddenly tensed up, jerking her arm from Jane's touch. "I think it's time for bed, " She blurted hastily, rolling away from Jane and leaving cold emptiness in her place. "I'm rather tired, and I think I've had quite enough to drink." Her normally crisp words ran together, both from alcohol and haste. Jane blinked, bewildered at the suddenness of the mood change. "O…kay?" She said, watching as Maura hauled herself to her feet, brushing off her pristine, but wrinkled skirt. Jane sat up and ran a hand through her hair, suddenly feeling idiotic and very sober as she watched Maura walking toward the hallway.

"Jane?" Maura had whirled around to face her again, and Jane's breath caught in her throat. Her hair was tousled from laying on the floor, and her blouse was lopsided, exposing a freckled clavicle. There was something intimate about seeing Maura Isles in a disheveled state – it was like a glimpse beneath the perfect exterior, and Jane felt privileged that Maura allowed her to see this side of her. "Hmm?" Jane answered. Maura crossed her arms and fixed her gaze on the floor, looking strangely self-conscious. "I just wanted you to know something." A deep breath. "I have always believed that Casey didn't deserve you. I am aware that you loved him and he loved you, but... How he acted wasn't fair, and he didn't deserve the love you gave him." These statements were uttered slowly, deliberately. Jane looked down, her cheeks heating up and her stomach doing flips.

She had always had the distinct impression that Maura disliked Casey. It had always been carefully concealed beneath her forever-polite façade, but the normally-soft face had taken on a hard edge whenever Casey was around. Maura took a small step forward, but kept her distance. "You deserve someone who will treat you like a first choice. Not a second option, left waiting in the wings. You should be with someone who will appreciate what an amazing woman they have." Maura's voice was quiet but strong, and Jane found herself unable to look up. She picked at a fingernail restlessly, barely suppressing the urge to leap up and wrap Maura into a hug. _You can have me, Maura. You already do. Just say the word._

Maura's final sentence was quiet, but Jane heard it clearly, as if it was whispered into her ear. "If I were Casey, I would have felt like the luckiest person alive." Without another word, Maura picked up her discarded pumps and disappeared down the hall, leaving Jane alone with her thoughts.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long – I have revised it SO many times, it's ridiculous. I'm still not 100% happy with it, but decided not to leave it any longer. The girls were originally a lot braver in this chapter (there was a kiss), but I decided I didn't want their first kiss or confession to be while they were drunk. I still included the drinking scene though, because I wanted Maura to crack and show some of her real feelings.**

**Also, I have to say – I've been reading a lot of fics lately, and the talent in this fandom is astounding. Some fics I've read have made me **_**so**_** jealous, both of writing style and storyline. Feel free to recommend fics or ask for my recs!**

**I always write very short stories (between 1 and 6 chapters), so I'm trying to make this one a little longer – I don't want to stop writing it! The next chapter will probably be a bit more Rizzles-y… I think the confessions are coming very soon. Thanks so much for reading, and I apologise for such a long author's note (I could seriously babble about writing and Rizzles for DAYS).**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Without getting too personal, I just wanted to say I've been going through a stressed and 'down' phase lately (everyone has them every now and then). But your reviews, follows and faves have been like anti-depressants, and I can't thank you enough. You've kept me smiling. Anyway, enough about me – let's check in with our favourite LLBFFS! ;)**

'_You should be with someone who will appreciate what an amazing woman they have.'_

'_If I were Casey, I would have felt like the luckiest person alive._'

The words echoed on repeat, just as clear as they had been the first time they were uttered. Jane rolled over for the hundredth time, running a hand through her curls, tugging at them restlessly. Her eyes fell on the glowing digital numbers beside her head – 2:03 am – and she sighed loudly, pressing her fingers into her eyelids. She was at the end of her rope. Having spent all day sleeping off a nasty hangover, sleep was now completely evading her when it mattered. Her brain was in overdrive, so much that she felt like she had taken 50 shots of espresso. Maura's words from the night before were running on a constant loop, like a damned broken record she couldn't shut off.

_I thought alcohol was supposed to make you forget things, not remember them more vividly, _Jane mused irritably as she stared at a strip of moonlight on her ceiling. It must have been a full moon, because the silvery light was so bright it looked like there was a flashlight beaming into the room. Jane pulled herself up into a sitting position, breathing out so heavily that her hair fluttered around her face. She wasn't going to just lay there all night and drive herself bat-shit crazy. _I might as well give up on sleep altogether._

That morning she had woken to a pounding head, a churning stomach and an empty bed. She had wondered briefly where Maura was before a dangerous lurch in her stomach distracted her – she had only just made it to the toilet before it all came up. She hadn't had a bad hangover for years, and it shocked her how awful she felt. She was taken right back to her brief yet extensive 'crazy phase' from college. Laying on the floor, shuddering from the unpleasantness of vomiting, she had found herself whimpering one word, over and over. "_Maura…" _As soon as she noticed she was doing it, she had stopped, hating herself for being so weak. It was only vomiting – she didn't need her best friend to hold her hand through it. But somewhere deep down, Jane knew that Maura made everything better. Something in Jane craved Maura's presence, because even though she had only had a hangover, she knew that she would feel better if Maura was there.

Shoving the blankets back, Jane stood and stretched, ankles clicking loudly under her weight after being disused all day. She was headed for her living room, planning on channel surfing until her brain felt like mush, but the moon glaring from between the gap in her curtains stopped her. She pulled the curtain back and stared, wide-eyed, at the huge moon in the sky. _Holy crap, that's the biggest I've ever seen it. _It was beautiful, glowing so brightly that the cars and trees beneath were cast into sharp relief. Jane glanced down at Jo Friday, who was watching her sleepily from her spot at the end of the bed. "Aren't you supposed to be howling or somethin'? That definitely looks like a howling moon if there ever was one." Jo sluggishly twitched her tail a few times before going back to sleep.

Jane smiled faintly, turning her eyes back to the sky. _If Maura was here, she would rattle off some supposedly fascinating fact about the moon. _The idea came out of nowhere, returning all the confusion and mish-mash of feelings that came with thoughts of Maura. _God, I wish she was here. _Jane sat down on the edge of her bed, resting her head in her hands. She closed her eyes, thinking about the previous night. Maura had been so sweet, holding her while she cried and reassuring her in a warm way that had made Jane's stomach do flips. Jane knew Maura didn't particularly enjoy being drunk, and that she had only accepted the offer of rum because she didn't want Jane to drink alone. And then they had been drunk, laying on the floor, so close Jane could see every perfect detail in Maura's face… Jane squeezed her eyes tighter closed, picturing that face vividly.

There was something about the evening that Jane almost didn't want to think about, something she had tried to ignore – it made her feel hopeful, a dangerous emotion that could only make things worse. In her drunken state, she had been almost certain she had seen something in that warm gaze, felt a spark that wasn't one-sided. She could have sworn she saw something more than friendship in Maura's eyes… The way they touched on her mouth as she spoke, and glowed brightly whenever Jane laughed. Jane recognised it because it was the exact same look she had seen in Casey's eyes... Before it all went sour.

_Could Maura really feel that way? Did I imagine it?_ Jane's head was spinning with thoughts, so much so that she didn't even notice she was now standing again. _I have to see her. _She felt, weirdly enough, as though she was still drunk, like she couldn't think straight. _Maybe I can't think straight because maybe I'm NOT straight, _Jane thought slightly hysterically, chuckling at her own private joke. _Oh my god, I'm going insane. I need to see her. I need to see Maura._

Throwing her robe on, Jane briefly surveyed the few pairs of shoes scattered around before deciding bare feet was easier. She was vaguely aware that she was acting like a crazy person, but was past the point of caring. She just _needed _to see Maura, in a way she couldn't explain. She needed to thank her for being there, for just being Maura, for loving Jane… Maybe in the same way Jane loved her? She shook this thought away, refused to let herself believe it. Jane just knew that she needed to get everything off her chest – she would never sleep again if she didn't do it now. She was opening her front door, keys in hand, when a small whine at her feet caught her attention. Jo sat with her head tilted, ears pricked up excitedly, as though asking where they were going. Rolling her eyes, Jane scooped up the little dog and left, locking the door behind her.

The lights of Maura's house, weirdly, were already blazing when Jane arrived. "What, is all that yoga and meditation making her psychic, now?" Jane asked Jo, parking beside Maura's car. The little dog shuffled from foot to foot eagerly – she recognised where they were, and for some reason she loved Maura's house. She always ran around, yapping excitedly, while the women watched on in amusement. _I know how Jo feels. _After she cut the engine, Jane sat for a few moments in the darkness of her car, Jo's excited panting the only sound.

_Oh god. What am I doing? _Now that she was here, the frantic energy was beginning to dim, replaced by blunt panic and a distinct feeling of stupidity. Jane couldn't believe she had _driven to Maura's house _in the early hours of Sunday morning, simply on a whim. She dropped her head into her hands, taking a moment to compose herself before she drove back home. _What am I doing. What. Am. I. Doing._

"Jane?" The muffled voice made Jane jump, accidentally hitting the horn, which in turn caused Jo Friday to let out a startled yelp. Maura pulled Jane's door open and Jane stared up into her bewildered face. _Shit. _"Jane, are you alright?" Maura's forehead was creased in worry, and Jane suddenly realised the only time she had ever shown up like this had been because of Hoyt. Maura would naturally assume the worst. She shook her head quickly, reassuring her friend, slumping back in her seat. She felt even more stupid than before (and that was saying something).

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just… I dunno. I just wanted to see you." _It sounds even more ridiculous out loud. _Maura watched her silently for a moment. But then her face lit up in a perfect smile, her expression somewhere between pleased and bemused. "Well, you know I'm always glad to see you. I was just brewing some tea. Do you want some?" Jane nodded, smiling too, feeling relief wash over her. "I'm glad I didn't wake you up – why were you awake, anyway?" Jane picked up Jo, who immediately wriggled out of her grasp and bounded towards the house. Maura shrugged, looking up at the moon. "I'm not entirely sure. My internal clock is slightly off tonight." She shot an inscrutable look at Jane as they entered the house, where Jo was already running circles around Maura's kitchen island.

"Jo! Sit!" Jane tried to keep her voice steady, but a small laugh broke its way through at the sight of her dog racing around franticly, tongue lolling out. "It must be this full moon," Jane joked with an eye roll, shaking her head. Maura's eyes lit up at this, as though she had been waiting for Jane to bring it up. "You know, not long ago doctors were certain that the moon controlled people's thoughts and emotions. That's the origin of the word 'lun-'"

"'Lunatic', I know." Jane rolled her eyes again, giving Maura a mock-hurt look. "You really should give me more credit, Maura." Maura shook her head as she poured the tea, smiling slightly. Jane took in her pale blue silk pajamas, bare feet and ruffled hair with a quick sweep of her eyes. She looked pretty damn good for 2 am. "I _do_ give you credit, Jane - more than you know. You are a very intelligent woman." Jane felt her cheeks heat a little at the compliment, and eagerly took the distraction Maura offered to her in the form of a mug of tea. She winced when she burned her tongue, but was glad for the mug partially covering her face. Hesitantly, after a few long moments, she lowered her cup to see Maura gazing at her. The hazel eyes burned into her own, and she suddenly realised something.

The last time she had been sitting at this breakfast bar, drinking a hot beverage while Maura stared at her in the same intense way, had been after the dream. She almost smiled at the thought. _Looks like I've come full-circle. _"What are you thinking about?" Maura asked, taking a sip of her own tea after blowing the steam away. Jane looked into her mug, watching the little particles of tea leaves swirling gently at the bottom. She was surprised to find that she actually wanted to tell Maura. To blurt out exactly what was on her mind, every last thought. The idea was terrifying, but Jane found herself feeling slightly detached. It would take a massive weight off her shoulders… "Maybe this full moon really is making me crazy," She muttered, feeling Maura's eyes lock onto her even more intensely. "What's going on, Jane?" The voice was curious, gently prying, and Jane didn't blame her. She was acting very odd, and Maura deserved some answers. She took a deep breath. _Here goes nothing._

"I was just thinking about the last time we were sitting here, on Friday morning," Jane started, keeping her eyes fixed on the eddying tea leaves. "I know I've been acting really… Well, like a freakin' crazy person. The dream I had really freaked me out." _No going back now. _"I dreamed about you, Maur." Maura tilted her head to one side, not following. She was evidently still under the impression that Jane's dream had been a nightmare, and Jane felt her cheeks colour. She took another deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I had a dream that you and I were… Makin' out." Maura visibly jumped, pulling back in surprise. Jane closed her eyes, unable to watch her reactions. She could already imagine the look of panic and horror as her friend tried to decide how to let Jane down easy. She couldn't lie, so that was going to make it even harder. _What is this going to do to our friendship? _Jane wondered miserably, but it was too late to stop. "I didn't want to tell you, because… well, obviously it's kinda awkward." She spoke nonchalantly, a direct contrast to her pounding heart and burning cheeks. "And it really bothered me because I was with Casey, and you're my best friend, and it's just… Confusing."

She blew out a puff of air, opening her eyes again. To her shock, Maura looked… Well, obviously surprised, but there was something softer, well-hidden beneath the surface. "And it made me think, way _way_ too hard, and I had to break up with Casey because he was a jerk and it wasn't going to work out, and also because…" _Here we go, Rizzoli, time to spit it out. _Jane paused, bracing herself.

"… I think I'm in love with you."

**A/N: Aaaaaaand cliff hanger time. Ouch. Sorry about that, but I couldn't help myself. ~Slightly evil smile~ Don't worry, I won't make you wait too long. Hopefully. ;)**

**By the way – if you have a tumblr, let me know! I want to know who you lovely people are and follow the crap out of you. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I hope y'all are still hanging in there and that my cliff hanger didn't scare you away. This chapter is breaking pattern – I've been doing 2 chapters of Jane, then 2 of Maura, etc. But I cut this chapter from the end of the last one to create the cliff hanger, and couldn't bring myself to change it. Let's get straight to it, lovely people! :D**

"… I think I'm in love with you."

The seven small words flew from her mouth at breakneck speed, almost unintelligible. But the way Maura's face fell slack with absolute shock told Jane she had understood perfectly. It was sort of something that Jane had told Maura before, but Jane was vaguely fascinated by the huge difference that little _'in'_ made. _I'm IN love with you. IN love. IN. _Jane repeated it over and over in her head, like a never-ending echo.

The utterance hung heavily between them, and the room was dead silent, save for breathing. Jane couldn't look at Maura any longer – she stared intently at the ground. The two women stood, a few feet from each other, both apparently unable to move. _Oh, this was a GREAT idea, _Jane internally berated herself. _You've ruined the best relationship you ever had. Good move. Now Maura is-_

Without warning, there were hands under Jane's chin, lifting her gaze to meet the warm, incomparably lovely eyes she knew so well. Maura was grinning, to Jane's astonishment, and her hazel irises were dark with emotion. Jane felt a tug, an ache – _god, she is so perfect – _and before she could even register what was happening, Maura's mouth was pressed to hers.

_Oh my god stars fireworks god damn rainbows and freakin' unicorns wow WOW._

Jane's brain exploded with incomprehensible images and words as she immediately tugged the other woman closer, closer, as close as humanly possible. She curled her fingers into Maura's soft hair, the other hand splayed wide on her lower back, trying to touch as much of her as possible. It was absolutely nothing like kissing Casey, or Dean - or anyone for that matter.

Maura's mouth was soft, yet confident, the intoxicating scent of her filling Jane's senses. Her arms, though delicate, were wrapped around Jane's neck with surprising force. She couldn't think of anything but Maura. The feel of her, the smell of her, the taste of her. _Maura Maura Maura. _It was making her woozy. Jane kissed fiercely back, conveying promises, desires, everything she had been holding back. Six years of unconscious longing was being released in one kiss, and it was almost more emotion than she could handle.

Jane couldn't remember ever moving, but suddenly she was pressed against the wall, with Maura's weight deliciously pinning her against the hard surface. She gasped slightly, and her best friend hummed in response, running her hand through Jane's hair. Maura's body was fitting closely against hers, thighs to hips to stomachs to chests to mouths, and Jane couldn't think straight. She felt like her entire body was filled with crackling lightning, even more intense than the dream. She could have never dreamed this, never could have known just how blissful it felt to kiss Maura. Gradually, the feverish kissing slowed, and Maura finally released Jane's lips, breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling against Jane's.

"Uhm," Jane said intelligently, suddenly unable to speak English. Maura nodded in response to whatever Jane's incoherent mumble was supposed to convey, her eyes still fixed on Jane's mouth. _Oh my god. _Jane couldn't even think as Maura leaned forward again. She brushed her lips against Jane's with very gentle pressure. This kiss wasn't full of passion and lust as the first had been, but sweeter, softer. Maura pulled back, staring Jane straight in the face. Her face was glowing, and Jane was stuck once again by how angelic she looked.

"I love you too, Jane." She laughed, and the sound trickled through Jane's senses like liquid honey. "In case you didn't already figure that out." Jane tilted her head back, closing her eyes, absorbing the words. _I love you too. _Maura pressed a small kiss to her exposed throat, and Jane looked back down to her face.

"Is this really happening?" Jane muttered, eyes raking over Maura's perfect features. Maura shook her head from side to side, gazing at Jane in wonder. "I hope so," She smiled, pushing Jane's curls from her forehead sweetly. Jane pulled herself away from the wall, grabbing Maura's hand and pulling her down onto the sofa beside her. She looked down at the delicate, pale hand clasped in hers, running her fingertips along the palm. She felt like she had just been hit over the head with a frying pan. She had been expecting the worst, and instead, had won the freakin' lottery.

"Of all the things you could have dreamed about… That was definitely not one of the possibilities I considered." Maura chuckled, leaning against Jane slightly. Jane snickered, enjoying the feeling of the silk-clad arm against her bare one. "Yeah. I acted a bit crazy, huh? I was just… So confused. Obviously my subconscious was paying more attention than I was." Maura shook her head, forehead creasing.

"That doesn't make sense, Jane. Your subconscious can't have-" Jane pressed her lips to Maura's, effectively shutting her up. Jane smiled into the kiss, and when she pulled back, she was still smiling. "Finally, I found a way to shut you up politely." Maura laughed, shaking her head. "It's still rude, Ja-" Another silencing kiss. _I could get used to this, _Jane thought happily, stroking Maura's soft hair. The kisses trailed off, and Maura tucked herself into Jane's side.

"I've been in love with you for a long time." Maura's voice was quiet, her head dropping down onto Jane's shoulder. "It took me a while to figure it out, and even then, I didn't believe it. But truthfully… I've never felt this way about anyone else." Jane felt a smile spread across her face, and she kissed the top of Maura's head. "I think I've been in love with you since I met you," Jane admitted, resting her chin on Maura's forehead. "After I had the dream, something just… clicked in my mind. It was like I could look back at our friendship with new lenses, and I wanted to hit myself for not realizing earlier – I'm supposed to be a cop, and I couldn't even read _myself_."

Maura chuckled at this, playing with Jane's fingers absently. "Don't be too hard on yourself, Jane. Sometimes the most obvious things are the hardest to see. For example," she pulled herself up slightly to look Jane in the face, "you didn't notice the fact that I've been in love with you for years." Jane felt her mouth curve up, and Maura smiled too before settling down beside her again. There was a long, comfortable pause in which Jane savored the feeling of Maura's warm body shifting beside her as she breathed.

"Maura?" Jane put her arm around her best friend's shoulders. "Hmm?" "I've never felt this way about another woman before." Jane's voice curved up into a question mark at the end, silently asking what Maura thought about this statement. Maura sighed, resting her forehead on Jane's neck. "Jane, human sexuality is extremely complicated, and research suggests that it is much more fluid than people like to think. Every person falls somewhere on a scale – some people are at the heterosexual end, some are at the homosexual end, and some fall somewhere in the middle."

She squeezed Jane's hand lightly. "Personally, I am predominantly heterosexual, but throughout my life, I have had a couple of crushes on women." Jane jumped in surprise at this, but Maura shrugged it off. "They were just passing fantasies. Nothing like my feelings for you." Maura sat up, looking into Jane's eyes and smiling reassuringly. "We don't need to feel pressured to label ourselves. People are more complicated than that." Jane smiled, nodding slightly, feeling much better. There was another comfortable silence in which the two women just watched each other, small smiles on their faces.

"So… What happens now?" Jane found herself asking, slightly nervously. What was supposed to happen when you realised you were more than friends? _Do we make the move to a relationship straight away? Do we go on dates? Jeez, there should be a WikiHow article about this… _"What do you mean?" Maura's brow crinkled in confusion. Jane glanced down at their entwined fingers, stroking one of Maura's lightly with a fingertip. "Well, I'm not sure about you, but I've never done this before. Do we go on dates, or is that sort of cancelled out by our being best friends? Are we in a relationship straight away because we already kinda had a relationship before, or… Why are you grinning like that?"

Maura shook her head, giving Jane an exasperated, but affectionate look. Her eyes twinkled mischievously, and Jane felt her stomach swoosh. "Jane. Do you want me to be your girlfriend?" Maura asked, tilting her head to one side adorably. Jane felt a smile spreading across her face at the words. "I would _love_ that." _That would be the best thing in the world. _Maura pressed her lips to Jane's, smiling through the kiss. When she pulled away, her dimples were the biggest Jane had seen them.

"Well, okay then. How about this. We just go on as normal, having dinner at the Dirty Robber, movie nights, and so on. Only now, we are slightly more than just best friends." She kissed Jane softly on the cheek. "And we see what happens." Jane smiled at her best-friend-slash-girlfriend, her brain going haywire (_oh my god, she's my _girlfriend_ holy shit_) as she absorbed the fact that this gorgeous face was now hers to kiss. "Sounds great to me."

**A/N: Sorry this took so long (she types for the 500****th**** time). I've been crazy-busy and this chapter has been giving me grief. I wanted it to be perfect, but obviously, that's impossible. I hope you enjoyed it anyway! I'm not 100% sure where the next chapter is going to take me, but I will probably tackle the issue of their new relationship going public… Or not going public, depending on how it goes. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Guys. ~Hides face in hands~ I'm sorry, I feel like I've been seriously neglecting this fic! I've been so busy – I'm actually supposed to be writing two essays right now, but let's not talk about that, since I'm trying to ignore them haha. I haven't forgotten about this story, I've been thinking about it non-stop (it is literally showing up in my dreams). So here we go! :)**

**P.s. You guys are the sweetest. Seriously. I've been getting to know a few of you, and I have to say, the Rizzoli and Isles fandom is one of the nicest I've come across. **

Maura woke slowly, senses filled with the sweet fragrance of lavender. Something was tickling her nose – she wrinkled it futilely a few times before opening her eyes. An unruly head of dark ringlets was tucked into her neck, a few tendrils fluttering against her face with each breath. _Jane. _At the thought, hundreds of tiny snapshots flew through Maura's mind – Jane showing up at her house, wide-eyed and wearing only an oversize t-shirt. Jane's admission of love. The two of them passionately kissing… Maura closed her eyes again, feeling a dopey smile rearrange her features. _Did that really happen, or was it just a dream?_

It was one of those moments in life that Maura didn't think she could ever forget. Hearing the words from Jane's lips – _I think I'm in love with you_ – was a thousand times more wonderful than she could have ever imagined. The moment felt vividly imprinted on her mind. Exactly what Jane's face looked like, what her voice sounded like, what she was wearing, even the scent of chamomile tea – everything in the memory was unnaturally clear. To see Jane Rizzoli so vulnerable, to see her usually-hard face soften completely – it had made Maura feel privileged, like she had witnessed something truly special. She never wanted anyone else to see those expressions on Jane's face.

They had sat on the sofa, talking and holding hands for hours, before they realised it was 4 a.m. Strangely, neither of the women seemed to feel pressured to take things any further. They had simply, wordlessly, climbed into Maura's bed, pressed themselves close together, and fallen asleep in each other's arms. It was the sweetest experience Maura had ever had, the first time she had slept with a significant other without having sex.

Maura tilted her head down slightly, trying not to disturb Jane, who seemed to be using her breasts as a pillow. Jane's hand was resting on Maura's stomach, and her legs were curled around Maura's, as though she was spooning her, although Maura was on her back. Maura smiled, enjoying the feeling of Jane's warmth wrapped around her like a security blanket. It was nice, feeling this kind of intimacy without doing anything sexual – not exactly that Maura didn't want _that_ kind of intimacy too. On the contrary… She felt her cheeks flush slightly at the thought, and suddenly Jane's head against her chest felt different… Less innocent.

She forced herself to push these thoughts away. _I'm sure, in due time, that kind of intimacy will develop, _she told herself, gently bringing a hand up to stroke Jane's hair. Jane stirred, her hand sliding over Maura's abdomen, the light touch making Maura's skin tingle. Jane made a contented humming sound, unhooking her leg from around Maura's, apparently waking up. "Good morning," Maura murmured, stroking Jane's hair back again. "Quite late morning," she added, glancing at the clock, which displayed '10:46'. Jane yawned, stretching like a cat, before turning and looking up at Maura. To Maura's amusement, her face did a sort of dance – surprise, recollection, and then her face split into a glowing smile. Maura grinned back, feeling slightly giddy with happiness.

"Jeez," Jane growled, voice thick with sleep. "I think this is the latest into the day I've ever slept in my life." She heaved herself up into a sitting position, stretching her lean arms above her head. "Well, we did go to sleep at around 4 a.m.," Maura reasoned, stretching her neck from side to side before resting her hand on Jane's knee. Jane turned to smile at her again, looking slightly bashful, an expression Maura still wasn't used to seeing on her. The night had held a sort of security, allowing them to speak easily, but in the light of day, everything seemed different – realer. Pressing a very light kiss to her mouth, Maura pulled Jane into a hug, burrowing her head into her neck. "I still can't believe this is real," Jane muttered into Maura's ear. "Me neither," Maura whispered back through her grin.

Maura tipped the scrambled eggs onto plates as Jane buttered toast, the two of them working together to produce brunch. Both women were acting like love-struck teenagers (although Jane would probably deny the crap out of that statement), sneaking glances at each other and finding any excuse to touch hands, elbows, lips. As Jane plunked the toast on both plates, Maura watched her, brushing the side of her face with her fingertips, drawing her in for a lingering kiss. Jane's hand, still covered in toast crumbs, caressed her cheek. She was so caught up in the new development in their relationship that she completely forgot something very important. Something that chose that moment to make an appearance.

"Hey, Maura," Angela bustled into the kitchen, rifling through a bag, and Jane practically threw herself out of Maura's arms. Angela glanced up just in time to see her daughter hastily wiping her mouth, as though Maura's lips had left visible traces, and she paused in surprise. "Oh! Hi, honey." Her brow furrowed, eyes darting between the two women, who were wearing matching guilty expressions as though they had been caught doing something illicit. "I didn't see you here last night, Jane. When did you get here?" She continued rifling through the bag, apparently not realizing what she had just walked in on.

"I, uh, I…" Jane threw a glance at Maura, who shrugged, widening her eyes. Jane wanted Maura, of all people, to help her with a lie? "It was quite late last night – you were probably already asleep," Jane recovered relatively smoothly, picking up her almost-empty mug of coffee and draining the cold dregs with a grimace. Maura almost smiled at Jane's attempt at nonchalance. "Oh, okay honey," Angela answered absent-mindedly, fortunately so focused on her bag that she didn't notice her daughter's odd behaviour. "Maura, have you seen my reading glasses? They're not in my bag, did I leave them in here?"

Maura pointed at the glasses, neatly placed atop a pile of magazines, and Angela grabbed them. "Ah, thanks." She glanced back up at the women, paying proper attention now, eyes darting between them. There was a long pause in which Jane choked down more cold coffee and Maura ran through what she would say to Angela if any awkward questions were asked. _Yes, I'm fine… No, I didn't have sex with your daughter… _Although she and Jane hadn't done anything but kiss and spoon a little, Maura felt like they had done much more. Not that she would feel guilty if they had – Maura was very open about sex, and everybody knew it. But the thought of telling Angela about the new development in their relationship seemed terrifying. _It's too soon, _Maura reassured herself. _We will tell people when we're ready. _

Angela gestured to the side of her face with a small smile. "Maura, you've got some crumbs right there." Maura quickly brushed them away, trying to calm herself down. _There's no way she can infer kissing from a few crumbs… Right? _"Oh, right, thanks." The hostess in Maura suddenly kicked in. "Sorry, how rude - Angela, did you want some eggs?" Maura gestured politely at the two plates, and she could almost feel Jane's eyes stabbing into the back of her head at the very suggestion. To Maura's great relief, Angela shook her head, perching her glasses atop her head and moving towards the front door. "No, that's okay, I was leaving anyway. Just needed my glasses. You girls have a good day." With a small wave, she was gone.

The second the door closed behind Angela, Jane let out a whoosh of breath, tutting in disgust as she placed the coffee cup in the sink. "Eugh, drinking that was a _terrible_ idea…" She mimed scrubbing her tongue with a dish brush, and Maura chuckled. Shooting a final glance at the door, Jane sobered, her brow creasing. She placed her hands gently on Maura's waist, tugging her closer and wrapping her arms around her. "You understand why I didn't say anything to Ma, right?" Her voice was anxious, hands travelling lightly up and down Maura's shoulder blades. Maura nodded into Jane's neck, breathing in the scent of her. She understood completely.

"It's still so new to us, I don't know how we would explain it to someone else," Maura murmured, squeezing Jane reassuringly. "Let's just… See what happens, just as we are. This is enough." Jane's body relaxed, tension washed away by Maura's admission that she wasn't ready to tell anyone yet either. Jane pulled back to look at Maura, dark eyes crinkled with her smile. "I like the idea of us having something to ourselves, anyways. Just for now, until it feels right for others to know." Maura sighed, giving a half-pained, half-genuine smile. "I guess we'd better hope nobody asks me a direct question about it."

**I hope this chapter was okay! I wrote it in about three hours, which is a record for me - I've been feeling very inspired lately, which is a nice change. :) I really wanted to emphasise the gradual development of their new relationship, the sweet, tentative beginning of something new. I'm not entirely sure how canon this is, but don't worry – things should heat up soon. I don't know how long they are going to be able to resist each other. ;)**

**I'm currently trying to decide who they tell first, so if you have any ideas about that, please feel free to let me know! I think that is where the next chapter will lead me – the first confession. Should be fun to write! :) Thanks, lovelies. See you in the next chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! So, uh, this is embarrassing – I just looked back at all the chapters, and none of the breaks between sections are there! Dammit. I hope it hasn't annoyed you guys too much, and that you haven't been too confused when the time or place suddenly changed without warning! There are a few places where there was supposed to be an asterisk to indicate it, but seems to have eaten them. :( Does anyone have any tips on how to make them appear?**

**Anyway, I've decided to just put ~BREAK~ instead, because I know it can't delete that! I hope you enjoy, and, again, I **_**really**_** appreciate all your lovely comments.**

_Thank god it's Friday, _Maura thought to herself, dunking a teabag into her thermos and wrinkling her nose as she poured boiling water in. She hated using teabags for her tea – there was something she loved about the ritual of brewing a pot with tea leaves, not to mention it tasted much better. But teabags and boiling water were all the café had to offer, unless she had coffee – and she absolutely drew the line at the filter coffee Jane was addicted to. At the thought of Jane, Maura's mouth curled up automatically, something she was still getting used to. It had been a week since her world had turned wonderfully upside down.

Jane and Maura had been spending as much time together as possible, but it had been an especially busy week for them both. Jane was working a high-profile murder, and a particularly difficult autopsy had left Maura slightly behind on paperwork. It was strange – Maura was in such a good mood that not even a busy week could bring her down. However, it was a shame she hadn't seen Jane as often as she'd hoped (she'd hoped for every second of every day, but maybe that was a bit extreme). Maura sighed, pressing the teabag down with a spoon and glancing around, hoping to see her best friend... _Girlfriend, _she reminded herself joyfully. There was nobody around except Korsak, chatting to Angela over the countertop, and another detective Maura didn't know, who was trying and failing to furtively stare at her ass.

Feeling slightly disappointed, Maura picked up her thermos and headed back down to her office. As she pushed through the door, Maura reached for her phone in her pocket, opening a new text to Jane. 'Do you want to do something tonight?' She typed, closing the door behind her, completely focused on her phone.

"Boo." The voice was deep and quiet, almost a murmur, and Maura gasped, jumping so hard she threw her hands into the air. Phone and (thankfully, tightly closed) thermos both went flying as Maura's arms found the defensive position Jane had taught her years earlier. Jane's face registered surprise before she began roaring with laughter, swinging her legs down from where she had been lounging sideways in one of Maura's chairs. Evidently, the 'boo' had not been intended to terrify Maura, but Jane was extremely pleased with herself anyway. Maura clutched her chest, letting out a small, breathless chuckle. "Oh my god, Jane - I haven't been that startled in a while." Jane gently took the thermos, placing it on a table, laughing the whole time. "Well, I'm glad you remembered the self defense I taught you." She grinned, still looking very pleased with herself, pulling Maura into a kiss. Maura could feel her already accelerating heart rate get even faster.

Maura drew away, brushing Jane's curls out of her eyes. "I was just texting you," she said with a small smile. "Want to do something tonight?" Jane's eyes gleamed, and she fixed her eyes on Maura's mouth. "Definitely," she replied, pressing her lips against Maura's again. Jane's arms snaked up behind Maura's waist, pulling her closer, and Maura twisted her fingers into Jane's hair, smiling through the kiss. The first week had been crazy – in their brief stolen moments, they couldn't get enough of each other, all the years of yearning exploding like fireworks. Jane's hands were just beginning to creep around to the front of Maura's body when a loud knock resounded through the room.

The two women leapt apart, Jane reversing to the other side of the room, attempting to smooth her ruffled hair. "Come-" Maura paused to clear her throat. "Come in!" She threw a glance at Jane, who had leaned against the wall in an attempt to look casual – but a rosy smudge to the side of her lips made Maura freeze. Before she could say anything, the door opened and Korsak entered the room. Maura threw a meaningful look at Jane, hoping she would – by some miracle – understand what she was trying to convey. "Hey, Doctor Isles," Korsak smiled at Maura before shooting a mock-stern look at Jane. "Jane, I thought you might be here – Frost and I have been looking for you for the last fifteen minutes – we paged you about 10 times." Jane winced, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "Oh… Uh, sorry about that. I must have accidentally turned it onto silent mode." Korsak rolled his eyes.

"Typical," he muttered, shaking his head, but his eyes were twinkling in a way that meant he wasn't really annoyed. While he was looking in Jane's direction, Maura frantically rubbed her mouth, trying to make Jane notice, but she was busy scrolling through her missed calls. Maura could see Korsak's sharp eyes raking over Jane's face and then- "Jane, are you wearing lipstick?" He took a step closer, getting a good look before Jane practically slapped herself in the face in her haste to rub it off.

"No! No, why would I wear lipstick? It's probably food, you know I'm a messy eater." She waved a hand nonchalantly, but the smudge was still there, a blurred imprint where Maura's top lip had been, thirty seconds earlier. "You are! Or-" Korsak glanced at Maura, staring at her mouth. Maura gazed back helplessly, almost able to see the puzzle pieces coming together in his brain. His eyes widened as Jane continued to scrub uselessly at her mouth. "Oh my god," he said, mouth falling open in a dramatic, almost comical way. He wordlessly gestured between the two of them, and Jane gave up the act, darting to the door and closing it with a loud 'snap'.

"Okay! Yes, Maura and I… We might be… a _thing _now." Korsak shook his head in disbelief, staring between Maura and Jane like they had suddenly sprouted an extra head each. Maura stepped towards him. "Korsak –" She paused. "Vince. We're not telling people yet. You need to keep this to yourself. Okay?" Suddenly, the shock on his face broke into a dazed smile. Now it was Jane and Maura's turn to be confused – they stared at him, perplexed by the sudden change. "Uhhh… Korsak?" Jane glanced at Maura, who simply shrugged, watching him wearily.

"Oh, you guys _have_ to let me tell Frost," he said, grinning madly. Jane shook her head, her own eyes widening, looking at Korsak like he was crazy. "Uh, did you hear a word of what Maura said? Keep this to yourself." Korsak shook his head earnestly, still smiling like an idiot. "No, you don't understand – Frost and I have been betting on this for years. Looks like someone owes me thirty bucks," He added gleefully. Maura felt her face drop, utterly shocked. Jane groaned loudly, dropping her face into her hands. "Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me. _You _guys realised before I did?!" Maura stared at Korsak disbelievingly, and he chuckled.

"Are you joking?" He said with a warm grin. "You two are basically joined at the hip, and not just in a platonic way – Frost and I set up a wager years ago on how long it would take for your stubborn asses to figure it out." He chuckled, pointing a finger at them. "You both get this weird soft look on your faces when you're together," Maura saw Jane twitch out of the corner of her eye. "And you do this thing Frost and I call 'eye sex'-"

At this, Jane finally recovered. "Hey, ey, okay, I've heard enough." She interrupted, pointing a threatening finger at him. "You let us tell people when we're _ready,_" she punctuated with a jab to the chest. "And if you tell Frost," she added, raising her eyebrows and jabbing him again. "Or anyone, for that matter, I'll _know_."

**~ BREAK ~**

"'Eye-sex'? Really?" Jane paced the floor of Maura's living room like a caged lion, pausing every so often to pick up her wine glass and take a swig. Maura watched her from the couch, highly amused. She had realised that Jane hadn't really noticed their chemistry, but this was ridiculous – Maura knew _exactly_ what Korsak meant by 'eye-sex'. She also knew that Jane wasn't really upset. She was merely a very private person, and disliked it when others could get a read on her. Especially in such a vulnerable and new situation. _And especially_, Maura smiled at the thought, _when they spotted an inner working of Jane's mind before she did. _Maura placed her wine glass on the table and stood, grasping Jane's shoulders in her hands. Jane finally stopped pacing, and her brown eyes softened slightly as they met hazel ones.

"Jane. It's going to be fine. Korsak knows it's not his place to tell people. Have some trust in him." Her eyes searched Jane's earnestly, sweetly, reassuring her with her gaze. Jane finally nodded, offering a weak smile, and rested her hands on Maura's waist. "I know, Maur. I just… I want to enjoy this privacy, ya know? I just want to spend time with you, without anyone else getting in the way, or judging us." Maura nodded, indicating that she understood completely, and pulled Jane in.

Jane nestled her head into Maura's neck, hugging her tightly, and Maura smiled. She couldn't imagine ever getting used to this. Every time Jane touched her, even in the most innocent form of a hug, she felt her stomach squirm. She could understand now why people called it 'butterflies' – although it was, of course, scientifically impossible, it truly felt as though hundreds of tiny butterflies were fluttering in her abdomen. Maura lightly ran her fingers down Jane's slender neck, feeling her shiver slightly in response, and pressed her lips to her ear.

"Let's just watch a movie and forget about all this, okay?" Feeling brave, she gently took Jane's earlobe between her teeth, giving it a tiny, feather-light nibble. Jan sucked in a breath, and the stifled moan she emitted made Maura grin, pressing her mouth into Jane's neck. _I think I just discovered one of Jane's buttons. _She chuckled quietly, extremely pleased with herself. Maura kissed Jane's neck lightly, feeling a rush of heat at the realization that there were still so many things to learn about each other – things they couldn't have learned as friends. Suddenly feeling as though the room had risen several degrees in temperature, she tried to wipe the thought from her mind, leading Jane to sit on the sofa.

Jane and Maura sat close together, watching a movie they had agreed on after ten minutes of banter, and sipping wine. It didn't take long for Jane to get distracted, taking Maura's fingers between hers and playing with them. It tickled slightly, and Maura laughed quietly, a noise that seemed to give Jane pause. She pulled back, eyes caressing Maura's face, lingering on her eyes and mouth. Maura followed suit, blatantly staring at the face that she loved so much. A single, tousled curl hung down over the smooth, olive forehead. The high cheekbones were flushed with a rosy tint. The deep, richly brown eyes were sparkling, shiny, impossibly gorgeous. From a scientific perspective, Maura knew that there was no such thing as human perfection. But in that moment, she would have sworn that she'd found it. "You're perfect," she found herself murmuring without thinking, and when she realised what she'd said, she felt her warm face become even more heated.

Jane's eyes crinkled as she gave the biggest smile Maura had ever seen on her, lips stretching upwards to her ears, and Maura couldn't help but grin in return. Jane shook her head, curls bouncing, and cradled Maura's face in her palms, thumbs gently stroking her cheeks. "That's funny, I was just thinking exactly the same thing." She kissed the tip of Maura's nose, followed by her forehead, and then the corner of her mouth. Maura felt her breath hitch, and she glanced down, feeling strangely emotional. She had never felt such intense love in her life, and it was rather overwhelming.

"I-" She tried to speak, but paused to clear her throat. Jane released her face, grasping her hands instead. "I don't want to ruin this, Jane, but I have to tell you – _nobody_ has ever made me feel as loved as you do." Jane made a tiny noise in her throat, and Maura glanced up again. The look on Jane's face was unlike anything Maura had ever seen – it was pure, unabashed love, softening Jane's hard features so much that she looked like a different person.

"That's because nobody has ever loved you as much as I do." It was a softly-spoken, effortless statement, and Maura believed every word of it. She stared straight into Jane's eyes, holding them, squeezing Jane's hands in her own. "I love you too." Maura said, her voice close to a whisper. The moment hung in the air, suspended for a moment, both women baring their souls. Jane leaned forward, gently pressing her lips to Maura's in a kiss that was unlike any of their others. This one was not sweet, nor heated, but intensely emotive and sincere. It was a culmination of their conversation, a silent _'I love you, I love you, I love you, with everything I have'_.

When Maura finally pulled away, Jane let out a disbelieving snort, shaking her head slowly. "Look at us – Detective Rizzoli and Chief Medical Examiner Isles, reduced to a sappy mess." Maura giggled, the bubbly sound cracking the intensely emotional atmosphere, and Jane smiled, enjoying the fact that she made her girlfriend laugh. Tucking herself under Jane's arm, Maura snuggled into her, wrapping her arms around her slim waist. Jane's hand rested gently on the back of her head, lightly caressing the honey-coloured waves, and they watched the rest of the movie in blissful silence.

**Okay guys, hold on to your socks, because smut is on its way. ~ Slightly hyperventilates ~ The next chapter will start where this one left off. Just a pre-warning: it won't be the most erotic thing you've ever read, because I've never done this before, but I will try to make it worth the M rating. If you want full-frontal, smut-tastic writing, you probably won't find it here. But, god dammit, I'm gonna try my best.**


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